A missed moment

Recently I attended a private party at a software developers headquarters and though I was there to also have some fun, it was mostly business, as I have another website dedicated to a specific smartphone and its many different applications available for taking pictures. So I found myself in San Franscisco on Cinco de Mayo, a day in which a full moon was the also the closest all year to the earth, thereby appearing larger than normal the rest of the year.

While at the event, there was this one person who captured my attention and during the evening our paths crossed a few times. We gave each other a smile and the first one she gave me I managed to capture with my iPhone.

Looking back, I wonder if I let pass an opportunity or if I simply misinterpreted her smile and the way she looked at me. I also ask myself if she is not too young for me or I am just too old for her. I guess I will never know. For now I remain simply content knowing that her loving expression and smile was meant for me, since no one else was close to where I was standing.

Thank you for your visit

E.A.

The beauty of flowers

The last ten days or so, I have been exploring further the potential of the iPhone 4S camera as an artistic tool, including the many different applications at iTunes to manipulate and enhance those images.

Though there are obvious limitations, there are also many other advantages allowing for spontaneities without having to carry around a bulky load hanging from ones shoulder. So on a recent walk I came across a magnolia tree just begging to be examined more closely for that interesting flower.

Magnolia

With my previous plans of a trip to the southwest derailed, I have not yet focused on local locations other than to be observant and apply some of the Instagram philosophy to my way of observation of potential subject matter and iPhone photography.

Flowers with thorns — Instagram

This renewed vigor in photography has not only been a bust creatively but also kept the dark clouds from invading the mind, clouding ones objectivity and daily routine from collapsing.

Thank you for your visit

E.A.

My day-dream plans derailed

It only feel like yesterday since my last post and in that measure of time, fuel prices have spiraled upward, derailing my day-dream plans for a road trip in a couple of months.

Despite it being only postponed for a year, this will permit me to set aside funds whenever they become available, in the meantime I will be able to better prepare myself sinceI will have a year to do the research and develop a complete itinerary.

Untitled — created with an iPhone 4S

While briefly being disappointed, in the end it may have all worked out for the better. Especially since my son gave me an iPhone 4S last Christmas, the gift has rekindled a new passion for photography, exploring the  iPhone’s camera capabilities and limitations.

Using a smartphone to create iPhoneography art, this has me looking at the concept of photography differently and to develop my own interpretation of Iphoneography. Once I have established good foundation and a small body of work, I will then venture into Instagram, that which actually launched iPhoneography.

A thin red line — created with an iPhone 4S

The two images in the post were just taken yesterday using the iPhone, while being at an IKEA store, when I saw a section of the concrete floor where the carpet had been removed and leaving traces of adhesive, bolts and contractors blue and red markings. It simply underscores y excitement  at the iPhone’s camera immediacy. Though the camera lacks some functions and software capabilities, it is a wonderful alternative to carrying around a camera that is not only bulky, but also weighs several pounds.

Thank you for your visit

E.A.

In a blink of an eye a month has passed

There were plans to post for my one year anniversary, which occurred last January 20th. Yet before one new it, the month of January had passed in a block of an eye. Though I did write and posted, a few days later decided to withdraw it back to a draft and save it for another time. In the meantime, my mind was preoccupied with a road trip I would like to take in April.

So out came the camera and tripod, some props and I then cleared off the dinning room table, as I use it for my table top photography, especially since it receive northern light.

When we arrived in New York from Europe, my father drove us in a deep burgundy colored Chevrolet across the US. One of the roads we took, was highway Route 66 before finally arriving in Los Angeles.

I still have faint memories of our trip through New Mexico and Arizona, a land that captured my imagination and had me falling in love with American Indian culture. Since the fifties were the hay days of western culture movies, I always was routing for the Indians, even though they ended up usually dead, for ‘a good Indian is a dead Indian,’ was the expression of the day.

Even though Route 66 is no longer what it was in 1959, due to being replaced with an alternative route, I cannot help but feel drawn to the area. In part because of the distinctive fifties Americana Road architecture now, mostly decaying, succumbing to time and nature.

Then there are the old western movies by director Henry Ford, which featured wide open desolate plains, where mountains raise up from the red earth, reaching for the sky, where one feels close to ones god. The kind of landscape captured by American Impressionist Edgar Paynes.

It is here I wish to photograph, as well as paint my impressions of the land and what remains of the architecture and its people.

For now this road trip is only a dream, a wish that may have to wait another year, but then I have waited a long time since my last road trip, which was through Ireland and I was twenty-five.

Thank you for your visit

E.A.

Holiday Wishes

With my son’s assistance,

our perfect tree, a superior noble was found and finally decorated.

Now boxes were opened and from it is removed a wooden horse,

a big Santa, the Snowman family and other items

to bring the house into the holiday spirit.

I would like to wish you a wonderful holiday season

and the very best in the coming year

Peace be with you

Thank you for your visit

E.A.

Marilyn Monroe, beauty, sexiness and brains

With the recent release of ‘my week with MARILYN,’ I began contemplating the concept of beauty, femininity and how much this has changed over the last forty or so years, when women began burning their bras to make a statement about women’s liberation. 

Though Marilyn’s beauty and blatant sexuality came out into the open, she was not the first, but her impact was like a title wave that blanketed the nation, and was felt internationally. Even to this day, she still has a viable effect among people of both sexes and imitators emulating Marilyn’s mystic. 

Marilynn Monroe

Marilyn’s beauty certainly was radiant but she had a rival, one who personified a darker side of sexuality. Bettie Page, a risqué and often fetishistic model, who with her provocativeness distinctive bangs, made sexiness seem fun and tantalizing. She was also featured in Playboy, as Playmate, January 1955 and though her career only lasted seven years and yet Bettie Page is still the most recognizable icon of the fifties, beside Marilyn.

Bettie Page and the HBO 2006 movie poster

Betty Grable in her white one piece swimsuit and 

Rita Hayward’s famous pose in a black negligee

When America entered into the World War II in 1941, it also marked the beginning of the golden age of pin-up’s that lasted mid-through the fifties before declining. One of the most memorable photographs was Rita Hayward’s famous pose in a black negligee, which quickly made a big hit among the US service men stationed in Europe. However, in first place was Betty Grable, with her white one piece swimsuit and high heels.

There were also illustration of women, who, while smiling, revealed a little intimate apparel in a range of clothing-challenged situations. These were drawings or paintings by artists like Gil Elvgren, Alberto Vargas, and Zoe Mozert, the only female artist in a male dominated field, showing us what the ideal of feminism is.

Mona by Gil Elvgren

Though as a teen I was exposed to these pin-up’s at repair garages or gas stations, my fascination with pin-up’s came about in the form of ‘bomber art’ found on the noses of Boeing B-17 bombers and other US military airplanes, because I was an airplane buff and at one point wanted to be a pilot. Apart from the pin-up nose illustrations, the crew chose to name the art, which in turn, their aircraft was referred to during radio transmissions. Names like Temptations, Devil’s Darling, Irish Lassie, Texas Doll, Upstairs Maid, and Carolina Moon.

In my impressionable early teen years, during the hippie era, rug induced wild times and free love—a movement carving out a new direction of social thinking and lifestyle—my concept of sexuality began taking shape. As the years passed and other influences began taking hold, I started gravitating to the music and film noir of the forties, when women were women and men, men.

It was a time when both sexes understood their rolls and though I have no problem with woman’s emancipation or equality between the sexes, I feel what it means to be truly feminine is lost today. That one confuses femininity with showing a lot of skin and dressing coquettish, rather than stylish.

Beauty, sexiness and brains—some of my favorite icons

Femininity and sexiness is first a state of mind, one that comes from within the person. It is then adorned through clothing and accessories, like jewelry, perfume and above all, with attitude and personality. 

When you dress in intimate apparel and clothing to please your mate or lover, you are betraying yourself and what you present is nothing more than a facade. However, if you first dress to please yourself, you will feel good, your confidence level is up. In the end, you will project a radiance that in turn ultimately nurtures your inner sexiness and you will feel feminine.

Obviously there is nothing wrong with dressing for your mate or lover, but be aware that you must come first before you can think of anyone else. For in this lies the secrete to being feminine and sexy.

A scene from Billy Wilder’s Some Like it Hot

In this photograph, Marilyn is natural and truly herself

Thank you for your visit

E.A.

Thanksgiving Day wishes

To those who are hosting this years Thanksgiving Day event,

may everything go according to your plans and

that your home is filled with the laughter

of friends and family.

You, who are traveling, may your journey be safe

and your hearts filled with joy.

Thank you for your visit

E.A.

Relationships and movies

We are complex individuals moving to our own internal clock that appears in synchronization with the forces of the earths magnetic pull, while us humans struggle to make our relationships work through all the confusion we find moments of synchronicity.  Yet these last coupe of weeks, I have been questioning my relationship and why a person would want hold another hostage of ones natural drive to physically express life, as this causes me to slowly disintegrate and question living.

So I escape into a world of celluloid, where films are pure Hollywood fantasy, others a partial slice of reality mixed with a screenwriter’s illusionary make-believe. This is off-set by outside of the mainstream Indie films with their understated representation, while foreign movies mainly seem to go delve deeper, exposing in the subjects guts to sunlight.

Some of the films I have seen dealing 

with all levels of relationship

It is not that I am necessarily looking to find any answers to my predicament, rather it is an escape, an act of voyeurism into another realm to stimulate the mind. After all, watching movies is one of my favorite pastimes, especially since it touches on various levels of interests. If it is not creative cinematography, set design, then the words of the screenwriter that dislodges any ‘writer’s block’ from which I might be suffering.

Films to me are only real when they are honest about the subject matter they are portraying. Unfortunately, the majority of people go to the cinema to escape their problems and worries and  the industry caters to the majority and though I like seeing a film of pure imagination, in the end I prefer a slice of life reflected onto celluloid.

Thank you for your visit

E.A.

French public service message

Having been in the advertising business for almost three decades as a graphic designer and commercial photographer, I can appreciate a well thought out and crafted announcement and this particular film takes on a difficult subject with not only humor but also an excellent soundtrack to help set and aid the drama.

In the ad there is no dialogue and though at first it appears it is all animation, it is only after 59 seconds we see a model in the women’s bathroom refreshing her make up. When she see the illustration, she uses her eye liner pencil to draw an enclosure over the male genitals, which resembles a condom, all which takes only 11 seconds.

As the model leaves, the illustration continues its quest for the opposite sex and upon finding it, discovers that only now the illustrated female gentiles is willing to engage in sexual activity. The entire film is just 1:37 minutes long.

What seems to be a commercial ends not with a product name, rather with a public service message, ‘Protect against AIDS.’

French condom message

(You will need to disable the blogs soundtrack on the bottom left)

Thank you for your visit

E.A.

The Leonardo of Silicon Valley

I am saddened by the loss of a great innovator and modern day Santa Clara’s Leonardo da Vinci, Steve Jobs, who passed away this afternoon.

If you are an Apple product user you will know what I mean, because it was his vision that propelled us into the digital era and to experience things differently.

Please observe a moment of silence.

!984 Super Bowl Commercial introducing

Apple Macintosh Computers

Thank you for your visit

E.A.

Family Secrets

Memories are the ghosts of our past, 

like fugitives they hide from the day, 

only to haunt us at night

when the mind betrays our reality,

altering the history as we have come to know it.

It is we who choose what to remember and what to forget

separating pain from the pleasurable,

gathering the hurt like the fields harvest

and carefully add them to the box, then close the lid.

Yet the pain does not lessen with time,

not until one has learned to forgive

and even then it does not disappear completely,

for the scars have been carved too deep.

Memories are fragile

and are easily lost when not tended to,

though a photograph can capture a moment,

aiding in recalling the past,

it can also uncover, exposing the darkness to light

that others might see, even years later.

Missing pieces of broken emptiness

Neglected, it's beauty fades and character takes hold of the presence.

No place to hide

All I ask is that you look and contemplate the many meanings.

The remains of irreconcilable differences

Listen to the silence . . .

     for they do have voices.

“Mom, please not the closet,” a child cried

Memories are hard to erase, for they are what we have become and we cannot be denied our identity.

An empty heart

For me the kitchen is where one finds the heart of a home. Neglected and without love, it is nothing more than a room within a house. A house to be considered a home, it most provide a place of safety and nurtured tenderness.

With memories striped bare, stolen innocence still cannot forget

You can empty a room and remove all traces of a former life and identity, yet the memories still remain.

Paint cannot hide the wounds

Pealing away the many layers that have hidden the cruelty not only exposes the ugly secret. it also begins the healing process for the victim.

Leave through many doors to find yourself

By walking through a door and entering a room, we are confined and confronted by the  walls, by the space within and the impressions of others. 

To regain out identity, to discover our full potential and shed the abuse we have suffered, we must leave by many doors.

Lost and found

The series ‘Family Secrets’ comes to a close with ‘Lost and Found,’ but for many people from an abusive childhood, the pain never ends.

In the last few weeks I have relived many memories, gut wrenching and painful at times. The abuse suffered ends with me! It is a promise I made to my dear and lovely children, Armont and Ariana. They will never have to experience the pain and memories of the kind of verbal and mental abuse, or the physical beatings and sexual abuse I endured at the hands of my perpetrator; my mother.

The healing process for any abused person takes a lifetime.

Self portrait with shattered mirror

The only way we can eradicate this evil is to first say to ourselves: “We are not at fault.” All too often we think we are to blame for these conditions, but it is not so. Remember, no love is worth suffering pain and abuse. There is help and you must seek it.

‘Self portrait with shattered mirror’ came about by chance. I had returned to the empty club house, deciding to photograph the hallway, using the mirror in the ladies room. As I was setting up the shot, I looked into the mirror and decided to photograph myself instead.

Postscript

Between April 25 and May 30, 2005, I posted ten photographs at an art community website, Renderosity. It was during this time that I went public for the first time, sharing my childhood memories of abuse and openly confronting my inner demons.

The process of healing has taken twenty-six years, when at the age of thirty-five, I realized that I had not been the problem.

Even though I am doing better today, the wounds and scares still remain, at least I proved stronger and so was able to break the cycle, for my children are now grown adults and were never experienced abuse. However I am sorry that my wife was exposed to my pain these  many years.

What helped my recovery process was that not only coming to terms with what had happened to me, but that seven to eight years ago, I was finally able to forgive my mother and so release the anger that I had harbored against her, which by then had eaten away my spirit like a slow moving illness.

Thank you for your visit

E.A.